an Amazing. Fun. Sexy. Weekend

Congrats to Jess and Andy and thank you all for being your amazing selves and making this weekend totally rock. I'll just post a few teaser pics from the Dirty Nurse party and the Wedding.

All of my Dirty Nurse pics are on my facebook account, if you don't have access, let me know, and I'll e-mail you them.

The wedding pics I will send out to everyone once I get the e-mail list together.

Also, if YOU have pics, send them to me!!!

WWAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

freaaaakiiiinnnggg ouuuutTTTTT!!!!





i feel like that one episode of Futurama where they have to make a delivery to the planet of giant Amazon women and Fry, Zap Brannigan and Kiff all get sentenced to death by Snoo-snoo.

I'm utterly terrified, then I'm elated, then I'm back to being terrified. God, it just feels like I have some sort of huge exam or presentation or something, and if i don't pass my parents will kill me. I just want it to be over so I can run away to Maryland and never have to live with my parents again.

i'm just sooooooooooo nervous. i just don't wanna go through with all this crap. weddings are supposed to be happy but for me every day is a living nightmare.

andy comes on wednesday. if i can just keep holding on to the small shred of sanity that still remains, i think i might make it.

countdown to my lameass wedding

I have this recurring dream:

me, standing on the dancefloor in my giant white wedding gown, having a decent, average time.

suddenly this hoard of screaming children with messy faces encircle around me and rush forward with cake-covered fingers outstretched.

I wake up only in time to realize that the reality of my nightmare is less than a month away.




God fucking dammit, i hate hate hate hate children.

so why the fuck is everyone bringing their kids??? Because nobody gives a fuck what i want, that's why.

I already gave up the idea of a small, maryland wedding at the courthouse. I gave up on having family dinner wedding in Wisconsin. I got the church booked, and the reception hall booked, and the big huge fucking wedding dress, all because i didn't want everyone to be so god damn dissapointed in me.

And now I have to deal with their children???!

I'm 2 more invitations away from tying piano wire around my neck and jumping off a bridge.


On top of that, the music I wanted for the wedding is out. They fucking can't play the Beatles when I walk down the aisle---Why you ask? Well bcz the song I want doesn't reference God. The piano guy then proceded to play me some god-awful contemporary christian vomit by Steven Curtis Chapman which is just fine because it had a line that said, "I'm thankful to you and the one who gave you to me."

You know what I'm thankful for? Baseball bats and justifiable homicide.


and piano wire and tall bridges.



did i say 2 invitations away? i mean 1.