This is by far the most of embarrassing moment in my entire life. I still cannot believe what happened. As some of you guys know, I have this huge crush on Skeletor, one of the ladies who works out at gym. The girl is hott. I have not seen a lower body like that, since my days at the Neilsen Center, watching the women's tennis team smack those green fuzzy balls around.
Of course, she has issues. I mean some serious issues. Her last relationship ended badly and combined with the fact that she is HOLY ROLLER, BIBLE THUMPER, JC'S BRIDE, AND ETC... you get the point. The gym staff even has name for her. They refer to her as HITLER. Once again, my loins and pride got the better of me. The girl is just hott.
So, a couple of Saturdays ago I did the unthinkable, stepping up to the plate to take my licking. I thought I could do this with 3 hours of sleep, but I was mistaken. Hey, I had to go out with the X-FRIENDS. I get there about noonish and she was there finishing her cardio. The girl looked busy, so I went upstairs to do some warm up lifts. A few minutes later, I see her talking to one of the trainers. Game time, baby!!! Seeing this, I strategically used the treadmill right next to the women's locker room. I should not have jumped on the treadmill, especially on a full stomach.
On her first pass to the locker room, I froze and did nothing. Moments later, she came out of the locker room and headed towards the tanning spa. This was not good because the stomach was really cramping up. The 24 minutes felt like an eternity. On her second pass, I see her coming towards me, heading to the locker room. I started to wave and saying HEY. Apparantly, I cannot wave, walk, and talk at the same time on the trendmill. All of sudden, I just stopped walking on the machine, so I go flying off the thing, banging my knee on trendmill, and almost hyper-extending the other. It was not a good site. Her eyes just widened and jaws dropped. It was awesome. The girl did not even ask me if I was ok and she calls herself goodie-two-shoes Christian. Whatever!!!
Of course, making a fool of myself on a simple machine did not stop me from achieving my goal. I popped right back up, like nothing happened and said HEY, HOW'S IT GOING? The girl shot me down with some lame of excuse of moving to North Carolina to do ministry work, which is like 7 months away. I do not regret anything that morning, accept for falling off the treadmill. Yup, another funny moment for the SAUCE at the gym.
