SUCCESS!!! . . . and UTTER FAILURE

For those of you who came to the party, thanks so much--it was a big success because of you. I was this () close to cancelling, but I'm really glad I didn't because it was soo much fun. I mean, check us out:






We're so cool! And I gotta say,


Steph is the best kisser of all time. I'm still speechless.




And now for the bad news:

Covance rejected me. They actually rejected me after everything.

What can I say? I've gone through most of the stages of grief and am somewhere between depression and acceptance. I mean, I fucking ruled that interview--why the hell won't they hire me?!

Goddamn it, if only I'd had more time I would never have used my previous boss as a reference. He told me he gave them "an honest but good reference," and I can only now suspect what that might have meant. That bastard. He's still ruining my life even now. UUUGGGHHH!!!! WHY DIDN'T I JUST ASK SOMEONE ELSE??! STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!

And there you have it, a giant fist-shaped wrench jammed into the anus of my plans. I shouldn't have counted so heavily on getting this job, but there you go--my mistake. I guess now all that's left is for me to start thinking practically. My options now are to apply for more jobs (yes, i'm retarded for sitting on my ass while applying to covance and waiting for them to hire me) or to go to school, which is what I originally wanted to do. I guess what i really need to do is both; my money is dwindling so even if i do get into school I'll most definitely need to get a job in the meantime.


More importantly for the sake of my mental health, I really need to get away from my mom. Having finished her bible school program (suffice it to say that throughout the graduation ceremony there was constant talk about the marriage rate among students and that it wasn't too late for the 2 remaining single women in the graduating class [they were actually named out loud by the dean!!!]) Mom now has her sights on taking classes at WCTC--one of the places I'm considering for school.

She's all, "we can take classes together!!! It'll be fun!!!"

No offense mom (well maybe a little), but nothing makes me sicker to my stomach. These days I can't stand being around her for more than a few hours a week, and she wants to take classes with me?!

It sucked enough with her making me do her bible homework (YES! SHE ACTUALLY MADE ME DO HER HOMEWORK!), all the while bearing down on me about my time and my life, constantly talking about how I should be planning for my wedding, asking me what andy says/feels/thinks about getting married, then asking what his parents say/think/feel, etc etc. And now she wants to take classes with me?! Study with me?! Spend all her freetime with me?! All while living with me?! Oh hell no. I'd rather be shot like a horse.

Don't get me wrong about Mom--she's always been a good mother. It's just she's really controlly. And maybe it just feels like that moreso now since I've had my own space for a long time, but there you have it. I'm used to being an adult.

The only good that could possibly come out of me staying at home and taking classes with mom (and yeah, i'd probably have to stay at home bcz i'm pretty damn sure i can't afford an apartment) would be hanging out w/ my brother. Poor kid. With us older siblings out of the house, he's been catching the brunt of my parent's nagging for the past 6 years or so. It's been cool being able to hang out w/ him more, and I think for that alone I can bare at least some of the crap I go through here. But dear god is it hard. I still end up avoiding staying at home by crashing at Andy's or his brother's. This makes me feel guilty for stranding Aj, but I don't think I could take it at all otherwise.

well, it's 3 in the morning, and maybe now that I've vented i can go to sleep. Tomorrow I'm going to email the HR person at Covance and ask her if she could tell me why I didn't get the job--for learning purposes. Julie told me she was gonna bitch to her supervisors. I'll probably sit around and dwell some more on how stupid i was to trust my supervisor as a reference, and then maybe look up other opportunities. We'll see how I feel.