Mixed Signals

How could I have been so wrong about Mary? What have I become? I think the stress of working at DMS has finally affected my judgement. Basically, I have finally met my match when it comes to loophole dates. She keeps stringing me along on these insane get togethers, where some how it feels like a date situation. I think the Lord is finally punishing me for Operation Big Cheese.

Now, the saddest part of all this is that I am not even attracted to this woman. I will admit that I love spending time with her because it reminds me of the all great times growing up in Elgin. Also, she reminds a of the Mary from the movie, accept for the bod (we can have it all). For example, we both love the Bears and to my surprise Badger football due to her UW-Madison ties. I truly believe that the only reason I am bummed about all of this is because of my nature. I want something that I can never have. Where is the maturity in all of this?

Since we are in friends zone, it is time to let go of the lash and be myself. The first order of business is to finish my college stories. Every time we get together, we share stories from college but I always skip my dating situations for obvious reasons. The second order of business to let her read my two greatest literary works ever. Those stories will definitely shock her. Finally, I will tell her about the code I live by- the FIVE F's. If you guys have forgotten about them, they are FAMILY, FOOD, FRIENDS, FUN, and of course FORNICATION. I will admit the last F has never been on the top of the list. Yes, I know it is shocking.